TV’s Ur-boss, Michael Scott of The Office, a paradigm of what not to do as a leader—like imprisoning your staff in a conference room to prove that work is better than jail. But while there is the ring of truth in his incompetence, the actual truth is always more interesting than fiction.

Therefore, as you prepare to be a boss in your own new company, I present 11 demotivational lessons inspired by an actual Michael Scott I used to work for. I hope they provide a manifesto of poor leadership you can post, like Martin Luther’s on the church door, to the whiteboard of your own Dunder Mifflin executive. Or at least that you can slide into his/her inbox when no one is looking.

1. Change your mind. Change it several times a day. When reviewing a report, be sure to make comments that run counter to previous ones. Leave the employees guessing. It keeps them alert.

2. Be sure your employees don’t know what's important to you. You want the best work possible, period. You don’t want them cutting corners just because something isn’t very important. Everything is important. Always.

3. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. You don’t have to explain. They just need to make it “better.” If you give them too much direction, how will they learn? For example: “I don’t know what you want from me, just make the PowerPoint ‘sexier.’”

4. Bring your employees along to all your meetings. But don't let them speak. By not talking, they have to listen. Just like a Dictaphone. Then they can remind you of anything you napped through.

5. Thank your employees — but only for efforts below their skill level. “Thank you for showing up today.” “Nice handwriting on that expense report.” Begin the staff meeting by thanking the intern for comb-binding your files.

6. Schedule weekly “all hands” meetings that require half the employees to travel (to you, of course). Agenda: they bring you up to date on what they’ve been emailing you, but you’ve been too busy to read. Don't introduce anything new.

7. Ask your tech savvy employees to take time from their projects to set up your home computer, preferably when the maid is there. Ideally, the request includes troubleshooting your kids' iPods.

8. Agree to deadlines and then accelerate them. Ask loudly from the hallway if the document is ready at 4:59pm. Announce: “I’m here late tonight if you want to finish it up.”

9. Schedule "critical" meetings a few days before Christmas. Require random employees from around the world to attend. Show up late and decide everyone can reconvene to "close the open issues" on January 2nd.

10. Send emails at 2am. On Sunday. Mark them urgent.

11. Be careful not to get too wrapped up in your employee’s own goals. If you're too supportive in helping them develop, they’ll leave you for another job. And that’s not good management.

How about you? Do you have any bosses that have embodied any or all of my how-not-to list? Have you been guilty of any of these yourself? What do you have to add?

A Comment in Response:

You've struck a painful cord. I couldn't agree more with every single thing you've listed. However, based on my personal experience I'd like to add few more things.

1. Having judgements clouded by personal animosities and friendships.
2. Raising status of incompetent individuals to that of key management members on the basis of personal likes and dislikes.
3. Communicating with just "one" management member instead of all key people regarding company's progress and updates.
4. Constantly wrapped up in scheming and manipulation thus creating distrust among team members.
5. Instead of praising employees several years of hardwork, retaliate with demoralizing comments such as are you a good manager?
6. Accusing competent people of 'constantly complaining when they approach the boss with their grievances.
7. Believing in the philosophy of promise them everything but give them nothing.
8. Complete centralization of power.

- DeTimes

Lack of authority and an inability to see where their contribution fits into the big picture is leaving Generation Y, or Millennials, disengaged and disenchanted with work.

Surveying more than 7,500 people and interviewing 40 HR and line managers, the report found that lack of seniority appears to be the problem: put simply, “Senior executives are generally more engaged than frontline managers or individuals.”

In a worldwide survey, they compared engagement levels of Baby Boomers (B.1946-1964), Gen X (B.1965-1977) and Gen Y (B.1978-1990).

Defining “full engagement” as: “an alignment of maximum job satisfaction (’I like my work and do it well’) with maximum job contribution (’I help achieve the goals of my organisation’)”, it found Gen Y employees wanting, especially in south-east Asia and China. Levels of disengagement are shown below.

Most feel under-used and not connected to the organisation’s overall strategy, and are struggling to define what it is they want from their work, says the survey.

The UK’s millennials are also showing signs of restlessness. They want ‘more opportunities to do what I do best’, with career development and training also highly important. The majority trust their managers, but the least engaged feel bosses could do more to encourage and reward them. Only 48 per cent of all of the Britons surveyed trust their senior leaders, though.

Contrast this with India, where engagement levels are high across the age categories and fairly consistent across job titles. We suggest this is a result of India’s dynamic, knowledge-based business culture.

Disengaged Gen Y’ers may either just look for another job or — potentially worse — stay, complain and not produce. It may be possible to coach them to higher levels of engagement. If not, the verdict’s tough: “Their exit benefits everyone including themselves.”

- DeTimes

Like everywhere else, politeness in India is considered to be a virtue.

You’ll quickly find that most Indians will go out of their way to be friendly and helpful to you. A traveller will frequently be asked about his nationality, name, marital status, and children, though the limited spread of English tends to restrict the scope of most conversations to simple things. It can be a bit tedious to go around like a walking curriculum vitae, but just keep smiling. This quaint curiosity is built on the best of friendly intentions, and it is part of India’s charm.

While English is certainly the language of business in India with foreigners, remember that the English spoken is British English. Therefore, avoid common British-American misunderstandings, such as "tabling this for now" (British English means "let’s put it on the table and talk about it now"), and the use of American sports slang "that idea is from left field." Even common American business acronyms, such as ASAP or FYI may not be understood in India – avoid them.

So, before you plan your trip to Mumbai (known until 1995 as Bombay) or New Delhi, keep these cultural tips in mind.

The traditional greeting in India is the "Namaste."

Hold both your hands at chest level in a prayer position and bow slightly to your associate. Additionally, this greeting may be accompanied with a garland of flowers being placed around the neck. It is expected that you remove the flowers almost immediately and set them aside, for to keep them on indicates a lack of humility. Indians seldom shake hands, when greeting people, other than during the course of official business.

The handshake is also commonly used (usually a little softer than the common American grip). Good friends may clasp each other’s hand with both hands.

It is important, however, that men should avoid touching women, even in business settings. Unless she extends her hand first, men should not reach out to shake a woman’s hand.

Remember, your Indian associate may very likely be Muslim, and in India, this means respecting Moslem customs. In devout Muslim homes, women are separated from men, and usually stay amongst themselves in a separate part of the house.

Remember also that cows are considered sacred incarnations of life by devout Hindus. Therefore, do not serve beef at meals. Also, avoid gifts made of leather (leatherbound books, attaché cases, picture frames, etc.). A wonderful gift to your Muslim associate would be a fine, silver compass. They use a compass to locate Mecca and perform their daily prayers. Many Indians do not drink and/or are vegetarians, so if you are inviting someone out for a meal, it would be a good idea to inquire beforehand about tastes and preferences.

It’s a tradition in India to be served a sweet, often accompanied by tea or fruit juice, when first meeting someone either at home or in the office. Accept it graciously and you may expect a wonderful meal to follow.

In both business and social settings, it may appear to you that servants are being somewhat mistreated. Be prepared for versions of this kind of behaviour. Traditional to Indian culture is the caste system, which, though now illegal, still has pervasive influence. Remember that for thousands of years, people were organized according to who serves whom, with everyone serving someone and expecting obsequious obedience from others.

Avoid offering your opinions about politics, social mores, etc. in India. The best way to win friends, and subsequently accomplish your goals in India, is to admire what you can (and there is much) and humbly inquire about everything else. Indians are eager, to extremely eager, to explain their country and their beliefs to foreigners, which could make for interesting conversation.

Indian management and decision-making is such that your Indian associate may seek the advice of trusted others (friends, family members, etc.) before making a decision you might be waiting for. Therefore, do not expect meetings to always result in a decision, especially if you are only in the beginning stages of a business relationship. You need to take time to build a relationship, an essential precursor to business, however frustrating it may be for the time-conscious American. Meetings should be viewed as vehicles for relationship-building and information-sharing.

During your discussions, you may notice your Indian colleague shaking his head from side to side after you speak. Particularly true of South Indians, this unique "head-wobble" is merely your Indian associate’s non-verbal way of letting you know that he is politely listening to what you have to say. This side-to-side movement does not, as Westerners might suspect, signal disapproval.

If you don’t know with whom you need to speak to in the Indian organization, the general rule is to start as high up in the hierarchy as possible. Lower-level people will not make the decisions you require. That’s why it is sometimes best to be introduced to your Indian counterpart through an intermediary. Rely on your Indian "middleman," they are invaluable as contact makers – without them, you will waste time with the wrong people and not know how to conduct yourself at the meeting when you finally reach the right person.

However, most important thing to keep in mind is that, India is in a transition, dynamics are changing. People in metros are now tending towards more matured professionals. A key thing, opportunities are seamless, you just need the right way ahead.

- DeTimes